26
Jan
I don’t even know what sets me off these days. What is even wrong with me? I’m just so angry and frustrated, so often. I’m pushing the good people in my life away from me because I can’t deal. I’m sorry I can’t be a perfect fucking cartoon character of a woman. I refuse to hide my negative emotions because I’m a normal human being who has bad days and good days. Someone who resents and broods and laughs and cries and worries and loves. I never claimed to be anything but flaws and imperfections. And if people judge me based upon that, and hold me up to an impossible standard? Then I guess I never needed them in my life to begin with. That I just imagined everything and I absolutely failed at making them see how I cared about them. But now I need to let it go and get the fuck on with my life because as nasty and unpleasant as these emotions are, they’re not worth wasting on someone who simply won’t ever look at me like they look at someone much more perfect than I. I was foolish to think that they might be able to see me and still care enough to ask how my day was going despite all of the negative. One perfect person deserves another. I’m just a selfish fucking cunt who can’t make her own happiness.
